<< Return to Homepage

Douglas County Conciliation and Mediation Services
Hall of Justice
1701 Farnam Street, 1st Floor
Omaha, NE 68183
(402) 444-7168

INFORMATION ON PARENTS & CHILDREN POST-DIVORCE

1. 50-60% of non-custodial/non-residential parents drop out of their children's lives financially and/or emotionally after 2 year. The reason most frequently cited: they no longer felt like parents. Many times they are denied access to their children and/or information about their activities, and are unable even to access school or medical records because their names are not included on the records.(See Sample Parenting Plan paragraphs 2,3,4 +,6,7,9)
2. 50% of all custodial parents block the other parent from access to the children at some time during the first few years of their divorce. (Paragraphs 2, 4, 7)
3. The largest number of divorced people remarry within the first 2 years following divorce. People who remarry within the first two years following divorce have a 75-80% rate of re-divorce. (They never deal with their grief process because of the new relationship, and because they don't understand what went wrong in that first relationship and their "piece" in it there is a great tendency to become involved with and marry the same kind of personality) The first two years is extremely important in getting the parents on track before negative patterns develop.
4. Non-custodial/non-residential parents who feel involved in their children's lives are far more likely to willingly pay (and stay current on) child support.

MOST FREQUENT NON-FINANCIAL DISPUTES LEADING BACK TO COURT POST-DIVORCE

Child sharing (visitation) disputes due to "reasonable visitation" or "mutually agreed upon" terms in the decree (for either the regular or holiday pattern), which put one person in total power and the other in a begging position. "Whenever you want to see the children" becomes "if we don't have anything else going on, it's convenient, and you've been nice to me lately." Worst of all the children haven't established a definite schedule and now regard time with the other parent as an exception to their schedule rather than a part of it. Holiday time frames are shrinking and the children are spending less and less time at the other parent's home on the holidays. The longer the power imbalance has been in place, the harder it is to reverse. (Paragraphs 2,4&7)

Parenting communications have broken down, been interfered with, or taken over by a third party who may be a new "significant other" or new spouse in the other parent's life or an in-law who puts him/herself in the middle of the communications. (Paragraphs 10 & 11)

Vacation time has not been specified for both parents, and one is either taking the children away for extended periods of time depriving the other parent of access, or the parent whose vacation time is specified is threatening the other parent with court action if that parent takes any vacation time with the children. Disputes also get very heated over one parent not having an emergency number or contact with the children during the other parent's vacation time. (Paragraph 7)

Activity scheduling and attendance by the parents haven't been mentioned in the decree, and activities may be scheduled during the other parent's time without discussing it first, one may assume the other parent can't be there if it is not his/her day for possession. (Paragraph 9)

Douglas County Home | About DC | Departments | Services Frequently Asked Questions | Feedback © Copyright 2005, Douglas County, Nebraska Disclaimer